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In a later e-mailed I asked George if Bulgarian gay guys were easy to date? Do they have hang-ups about being tops or bottoms and assuming different roles? Do they feel their attractions and love have validity worth standing up for. As in the US, I found out that a lot of the masculine guys would like to feel dominated, which is part of the psychology of dominism.

The man is created to adore something else and in most cases we like the image of the real man. And when it comes to love, it is usually the bottom guys who fall in love with their top partners. So there is a set-up conflict between this outward strong man image and the inward feeling of desire or need. And if you ask me whether I believe in love, my answer is — yes, I very much do. It is the best thing that has happened to me and is my driving force in life. I just hope one day I would be able to live with the guy I found and that both of us can recover from all the pain we have caused each other.

So the struggle for intimacy is indeed a universal one that transcends tall mountains and artificial borders, within and without. I sensed there is a silent sort of harsh fragility in and around same-gender love and intimacy in former communist states. These are cultures in which human feelings were brutalized through repression and deprivation for four generations. From such emotional ashes trust is slow to rekindle.

Self-assurance and modest feelings of entitlement such as gay pride are tentative. And for homosexually oriented citizens the search for security is all the more uncertain, hesitant, apprehensive—and painful. To be different now does not carry the historic threat of exile or extermination or torture but coming out today still positions one as less than normal and deserving a shove or an insult. There are plenty of dull-wits with big-fists left over from recent history that are directed against unusual people, including gypsies as well as gays.

From their web site:. The vision is a society where diversity is welcome. These groups are non-formal and not official branches of the organization. Currently there is no powerful political lobby in the country which could initiate and facilitate a change in the law towards the legal recognition of same-sex partnerships.

7 uncomfortable truths about being LGBT in Bulgaria

Driving in rural Bulgaria compares well to Romania. The main roads are paved and reasonably good for driving. Cargo trucks haul goods across and out of the country, slowed occasionally by a herd of goats crossing the roads or a horse cart hauling pumpkins from the field. A common sight along the way is a decrepit Lada car huffing along at 30 MPH. We rented a car and drove through the heart of Bulgaria with no serious problems other than having to stop and translate some roads signs—Bulgaria uses the Cyrillic alphabet, similar to Russia. Romania uses the familiar Latin alphabet so we had no directional problems.

Throughout the countryside most farmers ride around in horse carts and hand pick their potato crops and cut their hay with a scythe. Village farm houses are neat but worn like their inhabitants.


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Another question about the future concerns the cheap manual labor costs of these local folks and how these might interface with the expensive high tech farming costs in the West? The roadsides present a continual carnival of people and images. On several main roads heading out of town, pretending to be hitch-hikers, numerous young women-of-the-night try to flag down willing drivers. One afternoon we came across a group of young men towing a car in a most unusual way. The car had been burned out and the hulk was upside down and hitched to a horse. They were trying to drag it on its roof to town.

The horse, whose ribs I could see, did not look amused! As well, so few tourists drive though many of the small remote villages here that we and our shiny new rental car sometimes became an attraction for the natives as we stopped to buy cheese or bread or pate for lunch at a small corner grocery. Dense forests cover the central mountains offering sweeping views and tight switchback roads that lead out to verdant fertile plains sprouting vegetables and grasses. The central Sredna Gora mountains offer stunning views from the high top Shipka Pass where the monumental war memorial on Mount Stoletov is situated.

To access the site we climbed up the at least steps in a luminous late-afternoon fog that enshrouded the mountain. The ascent felt like entering a mythic Wagnerian set passing carved stone soldier figures frozen in battle and topped with a muscular granite tower guarded by a huge bronze lion. The historical myth here is enhanced by knowing that Alexander the Great, that great ruthless hero, also fought his way up the hill in BC with his boyfriend not far behind. Other appealing cities such as Veliko-Turnovo are nestled in the lower hills with its tile-roofed antique wooden houses and Internet cafes such as the bizarre I-Net that sported fantastic styrofoam monsters and machines sculpted onto the ceilings.

The users in these dens are mostly young guys smoking and playing violent video games online.

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Across the street is a neon-lighted casino—also filled with cigarette smoke. Casinos are everywhere in Bulgaria with the Bingo parlors attracting the most gamers. It is a true wonder that Bulgaria kept any consistent identity through countless occupations by the Greeks, Romans, Turks, Ottomans, Austo-Hungarians, Nazis, and communists.

Now finally there is a self-chosen confederacy with free Europe in the future European Union. One morning in Veliko we had a good laugh as we ate breakfast in our communist-designed hotel it looked like a vertical harmonica. On one side of us a group of American Christian missionaries buoyant and scrubbed were praying over their meager breakfasts followed by post breakfast prayers. On the other side of us was a young couple who had enjoyed the hotel for other purposes than shelter.

But lesbians making love look beautiful! There is nothing wrong in fantasizing about having sex with lesbians. Lesbians and bisexual women also have personalities, jobs and hobbies. The word friends should be put in quotes here.


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  4. And I have no problem accepting or being friends with homosexuals, bisexuals and even transsexuals. To me, they make the world a more colorful and interesting place. Why do some of us still insist to live in grayness? Wherever you go.

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