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What It's Like to Be a Male Sugar Baby

Elijah, a year-old student at George Brown College, has always been attracted to much older guys. He unintentionally started dating one sugar daddy a few years ago and has had four since then: Elijah met three of his daddies on Grindr and the other on Scruff. The men were generous with their cash, and while he was never really struggling for money, he knew he could use the extra bucks. They gave him money for cabs and leisure, high-end dinners and expensive gifts. Unlike Scott, Elijah's relationships were sexual, but they didn't last long.

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Out of all of his daddies, the accountant gave Elijah the most extravagant experience—but he also exhibited the most control. After weeks of pampering, he became super overprotective. It got to the point where he was literally treating Elijah like his son, so the younger man broke it off after two and a half months.

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During my interview with Elijah, he suggested that the absence of a father figure in his life could be a reason for his interest in older guys. When I asked Scott about his relationship with his dad, he said that they didn't speak for four years when he was a teenager, and are still patching things up. Alex Borovoy, a Toronto-based psychotherapist who works with LGBT and straight couples and singles, agrees that this attraction can be magnified by a lack of a paternal presence, but wouldn't prescribe such a sweeping hypothesis to every gay sugar relationship.

Borovoy also looks at the daddy's side of things when it comes to a possible lack of a father in his life. This factor recurred multiple times in my conversations with male sugar babies, and though it's impossible to generalize an entire community, the idea does seem to carry some weight.

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Barry, a midtown Toronto man who prefers to leave out his last name, has wanted to find a sugar daddy for many years. While he is currently in a long-term relationship with a woman, he is attracted to the idea of having an older man call the shots and pamper him.

He too brought up his relationship with his dad. I should also mention that Barry is 55 years old. When I contacted him through a gay sugar daddy page on Facebook, I naively assumed he was a sugar daddy. And once he trades you in for a newer model, you will be in for a rude awakening. You will be approaching 40 with no real track record in the job market with no skills or experience, trying to support yourself for the first time in years.

You will find that working minimum wage jobs after living amongst the 0. Many expired sugar babies end up as low-priced hustlers at the gay clubs.

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You can spot them in an instant: But there are usually no takers. So they drown their sorrows in Dewars.

And when it becomes bleak enough — heroin. All because he wanted the easy life of trading in his body for the fast life and quick riches.

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So you wish to be an indirect prostitute. Nothing inherently wrong with that, I suppose. At least you're honest about it. Do you like older men in general?

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If so, would you perhaps be better off not thinking about them as wallets with legs? Relationships in general are hard. Relationships based on power differentials are generally doomed. In my experience. Do you know what opportunity cost is? Let's just say that the more time you spend mucking about with relationships that aren't based on mutual love and respect, the less chance you will have of finding fulfillment. But should you decide the risk is worth it, the answer to your question is all too easy. Are you sure you want to?

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