How being a gay man can make your body issues worse

Like I said, we are all in different places and some of our baggage is heavier than others. But asking questions and being honest usually does the trick. It is not, however an acceptable excuse to not see someone again. Because if you are going on an initial date: Here is my favorite of the bullshit excuses for not getting together with someone again. If someone approaches me, I ask what they are looking for and take it from there. It happens. For example, a grown ass man recently took me out on a date and told me via text and in person multiple times that he was looking for that someone special.

Upon being called out, he proceeded to block me on all forms of social media. My biggest pet peeve in life especially in our current political climate is having someone say something to me and then pretend it never happened. There are boundless ways for us to communicate, which should make it very simple for these misunderstandings to never happen in the first place.

Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends

The only person this really hurts in the long run is the person who does the ghosting. I understand that we are attached to our devices at all times nowadays and correspondence can oftentimes seem meaningless. However, there are actual real-life people on the other end of those screens and those people have these pesky little things called: When you continuously disappear to get out of telling someone you are not interested or out of any problem in life for that matter, you are not actually dealing with anything at all.

It may be easy to vanish from thin air, but trust me, the ghosts of your past have ways of coming back to haunt you no matter how hard you try to run from them. The only applicable excuse for not seeing someone on a second date or breaking things off with them is this:. See how easy that is? No one is perfect. No one will ever be perfect.

Why Do Gay Men Insist On F*cking Themselves?

And for some reason, many gay men think something perfect is right around the corner, thus continuing this endless cycle of first dates without a second date. Yes, it stings. Rejection stings one way of the other. Dating is hard. But when it happens time and time again, we build a resolve that makes us jaded, biter and nasty toward the very group of people we are trying to date. Why make plans with someone for a second date when you have no intention of seeing them again? We are all adults so it interests me why we act like schoolyard bullies when it comes to dating instead of simply saying what we feel.

Has this ever happened to you? Do you agree or disagree with this assessment? Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Star Observer If this is what we all want, why are we making it so hard for ourselves? Here are some of the reasons I have received for not being asked on a second date: I think we are looking for different things.

I or you have a lot of baggage.

We must have misunderstood each other. It happens to me all the time. No response to a sent text message ghosted. I think we are looking for different things: So why did you go on the initial date? I or you have a lot of baggage: We misunderstood each other. It happens to me all the time: No response to a text message ghosting. The only applicable excuse for not seeing someone on a second date or breaking things off with them is this: Say it again, with me, out loud: One more time to ingrain it in your memory: Canada U.

US News. World News.

Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves?

Social Justice. It's easier to just keep reverting back to all the other points that making dating hard than it is to try and work on something with someone we thought we really liked. Dating is hard, being in a couple is hard, but it shouldn't be this hard, right? We let our minds drift, we make assumptions, and half the time we aren't even communicating how we are feeling with our partners. Yes, not all of us are jealous, or at least to an unhealthy point, but going back to issues of shame and insecurity that stem from our youth, we often have a hard time trusting that we are good enough.

From this destructive flaw we then end up projecting our neuroses onto our partners, and find ourselves jealous for no reason. Even if we are lucky enough to find someone special and start dating, jealousy can creep within the relationship. Mix in a lack of communication, which as men we are more likely to be bad at, and it's a recipe for disaster.

While it can feel like dating, and ultimately finding someone amazing is impossible in the gay world, we have to remain optimistic if we really do want to find someone. Now more than ever, strong committed gay couples exist in public spheres, which means there are examples of what we can have. We need to stop perpetuating the idea that all the good ones are either taken, straight, or live far away. The language we use when talking about dating needs to be positive and upbeat, and we have to stop confusing proper courting with endless casual sex.

We need to stop using every excuse in the book, and start working on ourselves because we aren't perfect either.

A safe bet

We need to stop looking past the amazing men that are right in front of our faces, and start understanding that the sex part of a relationship will evolve. In the end, we'll ultimately be looking for a best friend, a companion to build a full life with, and maybe one day move away from all the craziness with. If we are lucky enough to meet someone with whom our souls connect in an effortless way, we need to water that relationship because it is rare.

Gay dating is really hard, but nothing worth having comes easy, so lead with love and positivity, and more than anything just be open to what could be. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Barrett Pall. Dating is difficult in general, but gay dating is even harder.

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Sex is easy. We say we want one thing, but really want another. We have very deep scars. We go through a second adolescence. We have unrealistic expectations. Timing is everything. Every where we turn, it almost feels like we have everything telling us not to commit. We are afraid of commitment. Jealousy plagues our community. Queer Life Dating. Canada U. US News. World News. Social Justice. Donald Trump. Queer Voices. Black Voices.