Tips for gay dating

Not long ago I wrote down the hair color, height range, ethnicity, and build of my ideal date and it's amazing how many guys I meet that fall within my "list. What kind of personality or demeanor would you like him to have? What about his family life? Keep your options open, though. Sometimes the cosmos have a way of surprising us. Go where they go. You wouldn't look for pasta sauce in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store would you?

Of course not. So why do most gay men look for specific types of guys in the wrong places. If you like a certain type of guy, go where those types of guys go. I'd love to say the world is an integrated utopia, but people tend to hang out with others with similar backgrounds or interests.

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Let's say you're looking for a guy that has an interest in theater; then join a local theater group or hang out at local venues frequented by theater lovers. If your dream lover is a body builder, then spend more time at the gym, because more than likely that's where he'll be most of the time. Seek and enjoy! Are you the life of the party or do you like to sit on the sidelines?

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Most gay men wait for their knight in shining Tiffany to come and swoop them up from the bar stool. You look, make eye contact and even flirt a bit, but do you ever make a move? Who doesn't want a handsome guy to come up and talk to them? Since everyone's waiting to be approached, there's no one doing the approaching; which is why it's not uncommon to go to a gay party and see everyone standing around in their own corners like at a middle school dance. Practice getting out of you comfort zone. Find a guy you like and try starting a conversation.

To many gay men, the thought of doing this is terrifying, but with practice it will get more comfortable. Find something in common. Now that you're ready to walk up to a guy, what are you going to say to him? Well, in my experience two angles work best: Breaking the ice can be easier than you may think. Find something unique about him article of clothing, jewelry, hair style , then comment on it. Try a humorous angle. Instead of saying, "I like your hair cut" try phrasing it in a way that will make him smile or continue a conversation. A better approach might be, "You know, my stylist said only certain guys can pull off that style.

I guess you're one of them If you get stuck, then offer to buy him a drink. This buys you time to think about something else to talk about. Once you've broken the ice, find something you guys have in common and go with it. Going to the same coffee shop, grocery store and gym leads to the same scenery and the same results. So instead, change it up! Step out of the box.

You love to run, hike and go to the theater.

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Now what activity would be so out of the box for you, it might put you in a space to meet new guys, make friends with people who have gay friends or try a new hobby? Think of it this way: If you can step out of the closet, you can certainly step out of your rut! Reflect what you desire. If you really want a guy who appreciates monogamy, then hanging out with people who have open relationships probably isn't the best place to meet Mr.

From sex to finances and family to intellectual awareness, letting your true desires show up doesn't make you weak, weird or wacky. It's you being truly you, so let your authentic self shine.

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Stop making excuses. The more you make excuses for why your gay dating life is the toilet, the less chance of it shifting in a positive way. If every date you go on with a gay guy leads you to say, "He was nice, but What's sex got to do with it?

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Dating from the perspective of "it's all about sex" can pay off if that's how you truly feel. Conversely, making sex the secondary acquisition can also be a home run. When you hide from your truth, it won't set you free. Plus, being honest with yourself is a great launching pad for honesty in your relationship. Ask yourself, "So what?

Do you always say: For example, "Gay dating is such a chore. Gay dating is a chore that eventually leads to feeling depressed and lonely So change the tape! Be a fearless, foolish and fun-loving.

Shy Guys have more sex.

Crazy as it sounds, one of these three "f-words" could lead you to Mr. First, be fearless in your gay dating pursuits. After all, if he thinks you're afraid, you probably are, and your sweaty armpit stains will rat you out! If you can't win them by being fearless, then be a little foolish, and let your heart lead you. Even if you feel like a fool, you'll rack up the frequent heartbreak points that will eventually pay for an all-expenses-paid trip to true love.

Finally, let the fun-loving gay dater in you out to play. What's the worst that can happen? Stop comparing. Check out the merchandise, evaluate the functionality, weigh the benefits, but for crying out loud, stop comparing yourself to everyone around you! The more you look to others to validate your existence, your value and your self-worth, the deeper the hole gets for you to lay in and have sand kicked in your face.