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Rather, he used it as a doormat. As governor, Sanford took a mistress , then disappeared for days on a visit to her in Argentina and lied about it.

He lost his job and his marriage. But last week, the voters chose to overlook both his infidelity and his mendacity. But no matter how shabbily straights treat their vows, they qualify not only for marriage but also for Congress.

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When millions of Americans see straight people busting up marriages while gay people struggle to form them, they draw the obvious, and correct, conclusion. America needs more marriages, not fewer. Researchers find that blue states have lower rates of divorce and teen pregnancy than red states do. But it is part and parcel of a re-commitment to family values, not a flight from them.

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Same-sex marriage is socially conservative in that sense — and in a deeper sense, too. The movement is about equality and rights, yes, but it is also about responsibility and obligation. Marriage joins couples not just in a contract with each other but also in a pact with their community, their kids, their God and millenniums of custom. Gay and lesbian Americans yearn for those bonds. They are asking to be constrained, not liberated: