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This situation has us living in constant financial stress. I teach my boys to be careful of women. Wrap it up anyway.

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Is she working or doing something that will enable her to eventually take care of herself? IMO, American divorce laws are out of date. If children are not involved alimony should be about enabling people to support themselves who lost that ability as a result of marriage. Once that person can take care of themselves alimony should end. On the one hand you see articles about women not needing men financially, men not going to college as much, women earning more, men earning less and that causing problems with people hooking up.

Different people have different paths through life, so I think it is possible for both sets of things to be a reality.

It is just interesting to see the diversity of roles that women as a group can be comfortable with. With the exception of a minorty, I think most men would feel very self conscious about letting someone support them. EMK wrote: I realize this sounds crass. A woman who has been cheated on can eventually recover.

Someone like Jaded is financially crippled for life. Dreams and hopes permanently canceled. I am eligible for alimony for the rest of my life if I choose to remain unmarried. The court recognizes that I sacrificed my job with a K, health insurance, and a good salary, to raise the children. I observed my children from a young age interacting with the other children and would help them learn how to get along with others. I taught them the essence of charm, which is to display a genuine interest in others and to ask questions and really listen to them.

My son was the student council president in his high school, and my daughter was a cheerleader and the homecoming queen. They are both wonderful people. He made a financial sacrifice, and so did I. It is easy for him to view himself as financially disadvantaged, but even with alimony, my lifestyle is much less financially secure than his. And, he refuses to help our children in college. I want to take a vacation with my children some day, too! You should get alimony until you are able to support yourself with your own job. Why do you want a constant reminder of your ex husband?

Why do you want to be dependent on someone else? That last paragraph shows us that you are only taking his money because you ae not happy with his behaviour. How immature. So you dont like his behaviour? Its really petty and pathetic. You may have brought up some well rounded children, but your stuck in revenge mentality and display entitlement that other women hate being associated with.

Get some self respect and develop your own wealth income. So what? You should try it sometime. Strictly up to you, though. Well, you misread what I wrote. Life is good! That would be entirely illogical and unfair. I met a very nice man whose ex-wife felt she was entitled to all of the retirement assets—both hers and his! All people can be irrational and selfish, whether male or female. Newsflash, nk: Ageism is real. Of course, I am making every effort to gain better employment, but I recognize that this may be as good as it gets for me financially.

Is that a reason to be bitter and discontented? Is it a reason to be practical about using my spousal support to help my children get through college? I am helping my son because I want to support him and help him achieve his own goals, not my goals for him. And, I am forever grateful to Evan for his excellent advice which has enabled me to love again and be in wonderful relationships! I am currently in a very serious relationship with a man whose values regarding helping children in college are quite compatible with my own.

Thanks, Evan! You are all about spreading happiness in this world through good relationships! Maybe if you quit demanding money and earned your own living , he would have more money and more willing to spend it on his children. I work for low pay, a long commute, only one week of paid vacation, no health insurance, and I take unpaid time off to go to the doctor and move my son to university and back home again each year.

I still suffer from residual fatigue as many breast cancer survivors do , and my balance is off, as the chemo caused nerve damage in my feet. I have paid off all my medical bills. Many weekends I have to spend resting so that I can get up on Monday morning and do it all over again. I am productive, in love, and grateful to be alive and able to help my children. Just doing the best I can…. Now you play it off like it was enslavement to get FREE money. In my last relationship, the guy actually had trust issues because his ex-fiance manipulated him.

He took it out on me and I eventually left. Unlike him, I dealt with many of my issues from my marriage and consciously make an effort not to take it out on others. You have to continuously remind yourself that not all fingers are the same. Everybody who has gone through such a psychologically and emotionally devastating relationship really need to take the time to heal and self-reflect.

Learn from it. While I know this could never happen, I would love it if there was a law against folks getting involved in new relationships less than a year after the divorced papers are signed. Regardless of how much they thought they were… and they ALL thought they were! So I just stopped bothering with them. Well put. Women will never do this. Women are so ultra-priveledged in this country they truly believe they can do anything they want at any time with no reprecautions.

They never internally commit to anything.

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They dont have to. They can choose anything and at anytime if they choose to they can change their mind and choose something else. They are nothing but spoiled children. On a more facetious note: Why on earth are women asking for money from their ex after they have split, it makes NO sense. Where is their self worth? If I wanted out why would I want to be connected to my ex years afterwards?

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Women really need to think about the moral issue with this too. Transitional support for a limited time.

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Child Support. Equal division of assets. Depends on circumstance. The more my ex-husband hears stories like this Alimony for life?


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I have shared custody with her of my son and I still see my former stepson every other weekend. My trust and admittedly my heart, were shattered by the experience, and I still have to see her every other weekend when I pick up my former stepson and return him at the end of the weekend.

There is no easy way to stop thinking about her as we have to see each other at those times and various school activities and such. All I can say is that it gets better with time. Once I realized that was the case I broke it off. I am a divorced woman in my mid forties. My husband had an affair after 23 years and 3 kids. They were still in school. I made more money. I had to fight for custody. If we split custoday, I would be paying HIM-even though he was the cheater and wanted the divorce. As to assets. I got half of his, but he got half of mine. So Evan if your wife left you and took half of your money, you could take half of hers.

At least in my state.


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