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Dating coach Iona Yeung says Asian men are represented largely through "nerdy stereotypes" in the media, with few positive role models to draw confidence from when it comes to dating.

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Chris agrees, saying the media plays an "important role in informing who we are attracted to". When it comes to Asian men, they're often depicted as "the bread shop boy or the computer genius who helps the white male protagonist get the girl," he says, if they're represented at all. An interaction with a female partner who called him "exotic" similarly affected his sense of self.

Having these conversations has helped me realise that although my anxieties around dating come from my experience with sex and relationships — they're also connected to how I value my culture.

It's fitting that some of the people I spoke to have embraced their backgrounds as they negotiate the challenges that come with dating as Asian Australian men. For Jay, "practising a lot self-love, practising a lot of empathy for others, and being around the right people" has allowed him to appreciate moments of intimacy for what they are, and feel real confidence.

Dating coach Iona says finding role models and references to bolster your confidence is key to overcoming concerns or anxieties you might have around dating. My advice would be not to wait seven years until you talk to someone about your feelings or concerns, and certainly not to wait until a stranger on a street approaches you for a suspicious-sounding website you later can't find to have this conversation with yourself.

Why queer Asian men often date white guys - Star Observer

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