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Unless he can juggle or tap dance in bed, "versatile bottom" means only one thing, so be prepared to take charge if things go well. If you're lying when you call yourself a "versatile top," either call it quits now or start working on your oral communication skills.


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If he insists on taking "important calls" several times during your date, don't automatically think he's blowing you off. In today's complicated world, he might be calling work, his sitter, or his ex-wife to see if she can pick up the kids. Chill out, and use the time to call your sponsor for encouragement. In the old days, it was common, and common sense, to say that, if you sleep with someone, you are also sleeping with everyone he's slept with.

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Nowadays, it's common sense to remember that, if you sleep with someone who's in a Step program, you are also sleeping with everyone in his Home Group. Be prepared to be judged by all the members of the orgy. If you've met the guy online and have never met in person, and if his entire chat so far has been about how amazingly hot you are and how amazingly much he's into you and how he's quite certain you're the guy for him, he will hate you within 20 minutes of your date and you will never hear from him again.

If you request an explanation, he will call you a stalker and block you from any social media sites you might share. While it's nice to have a grasp of current events and knowledge of local culture, it's no longer a first-date pre-requisite. However, if you don't have an immediate answer for "Do you want to get married? How can you find Mr.

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Right if you don't have a vision of what he looks like? Make a list of the qualities you like in a guy. This may sound like a silly exercise, but a few minutes with a pad and paper can help you focus on finding the right man for you.


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  4. Not long ago I wrote down the hair color, height range, ethnicity, and build of my ideal date and it's amazing how many guys I meet that fall within my "list. What kind of personality or demeanor would you like him to have? What about his family life? Keep your options open, though.

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    Sometimes the cosmos have a way of surprising us. Go where they go. You wouldn't look for pasta sauce in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store would you? Of course not. So why do most gay men look for specific types of guys in the wrong places. If you like a certain type of guy, go where those types of guys go.

    I'd love to say the world is an integrated utopia, but people tend to hang out with others with similar backgrounds or interests. Let's say you're looking for a guy that has an interest in theater; then join a local theater group or hang out at local venues frequented by theater lovers. If your dream lover is a body builder, then spend more time at the gym, because more than likely that's where he'll be most of the time.

    Seek and enjoy!

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    Are you the life of the party or do you like to sit on the sidelines? Most gay men wait for their knight in shining Tiffany to come and swoop them up from the bar stool. You look, make eye contact and even flirt a bit, but do you ever make a move? Who doesn't want a handsome guy to come up and talk to them?

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