Gay dating nightmares

Many have waned as the frisson of potential encounters collapses under the promise of an app shag on the way home. We used to speak first. In the silence, fear grows. Are we good enough? Do our penises look long enough? Is the lighting on this selfie capturing pectoral definition? In the silence, emptiness echoes, too: We think we are hunters, but all are hunted, pursued by the tech that knows us too well.

And so, no gay man will be put off using apps after this aggravated burglary, because fear is not important here. Loneliness is. Affirmation is. Ours is an adulthood resting on the early pillars of isolation and alienation. A dating app is a false salvation, but for many, it is all the market has to offer.

Topics Dating Opinion. Reuse this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Feeling like the worst person in the entire world, I proceeded to have the most awkward dinner of my entire life. I vowed to never get on Tinder again, and never spoke to either Ryan again. We ate cheap sushi, had some things in common Jewishness , and he bragged about the time he apparently fucked Emrata , all the while assuring me he thought I was hotter because she's "too skinny" or some BS.

We went back to his place, and started making out. He showed me his tattoos—a chestplate of his dead dad, a David Lynch tribute, a Japanese scene on his ass. Since I was already down there, I stayed down there wink wink It was his stupid fucking cat, who he'd told me about earlier in the night he'd created an Instagram account for it and wanted me to follow. I tried to shake it off, but it dug its claws into my hair and down my back. I finally shook free, and we moved up to his loft bed he was in his 30s, btw and tried to resume, but the cat followed us up there. I was having extra trouble breathing, and went to the bathroom to recoup from a full-blown asthma attack from the fucking cat.

I had bloodshot red eyes and a splotchy face. I needed my inhaler and to GTFO stat. He chronically dick-pic'd me at all times of the day for months following our date. I once saw him on the street wearing culottes.

Gay Forums - Dating & Relationships - dating horror stories - RealJock

I later found out his cat has close to 15, Insta followers. I met this girl over Tinder, things were going nicely, so we met up for coffee. I'd been on a few Tinder dates before and it's awkward when two people meet in such a context. But with this girl in particular, we got along almost instantly.

We had things in common. Conversation was easy. It was nice. At one point she set down her coffee as I was talking, and she brushed her hair to the side and looked me straight in the eye. She smiled. I smiled back. As I continued to talk, I went to pull my phone out of my pocket to show her something. I guess she didn't realize I could totally still see her, but she took my looking down as an opportunity to quickly and purposefully shove her fingers down her throat to trigger her gag reflex. Four seconds later I'm drenched in this girl's vomit from head to toe.

I'm sitting there in shock, trying to figure out what happened. She apologized, and asked if I was OK. When I got back, she was gone.

I never heard from her again. Follow Emily Guendelsberger on Twitter. More VICE. Australia Today. VICE Elsewhere. None do I want to see ever again. Seriously, and I know this question gets asked a lot I feel like such a fucking cliche.

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Sep 18, 7: The breeders have there share of kookoo people too. Good luck. Just a regular boyfriend, one that doesn't go nuts on me! It doesn't exist. Sep 18, 8: Laurence Posts: From my experience of life. Everyone out there is weird - and it's just about finding people partners and friends who are weird in the same way as yourself. Sep 18, 1: I have gone through the same thing.

6 Gruesome Tales of Gay Hook-Ups Gone Wrong

I decided not to date for a while. Maybe the crazies will partner up by the time I'm ready to get out there again. Most recently, I had a guy on the first date: He suggested I go to his place for date number two. Are you freaking kidding me with this shit? Oh well, makes for good stories.

"I realized I had catfished myself."

I've only ever dated nice normal people. Well except for that one who was molested when he was 8 and never got over it. And that other one that was a pure catholic and felt the need to repent all the time. Oh and that other one that knew he was gay but just thought of it as a period before he'd pick out a woman, get married, have kids and all that. Then there was the one that said 'I love you' on the first date after a club hook up and then went all Glenn Close.

Errr you'd better get back to me. Sep 18, 2: McCain the second coming of Christ We've ALL had our share of "socially inept" people.

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Normalcy is something no one can attain as it doesn't exist. For the South, the way they talk and believe in God is normal. For San Franciscans, wearing shorts with flip-flops when it's 65 degrees outside is normal. You have to put everything into perspective and realize that this is life. Dealing with what it gives you makes it all that much more adventurous. Picking through the crazies will only make you stronger so that when you do find someone you're compatible with, the little flaws you may see in him won't seem so bad in the grand scheme of things.

Did you meet them through straight friends? Straight females have a tendency to think that two homos are a perfect match by virtue of being gay. My only horrible dates have been from the internet. My last one was more than a year ago. He was attractive and we were conversing quite well. I soon discovered that he was married with kids and had lied about his age. He was still younger than me so I didn't care too much about the age.