Gay dating dealing with rejection

Totally self absorbed. So absorbed in their own feelings that they do not acknowledge or deal with the feelings of anyone else. Truly, consider yourself lucky that you escape them so easily, and with such little investment in their self absorption. Just keep on engaging life, and you will encounter someone who will return your affection. It only takes one, and then all the effort will have been worth it.

Reading that was like looking into a mirror. I've been that ghost before, and it was always from a place of insecurity. I recognize it and I am working on it. I always make a point now of being upfront when I don't feel a spark. I've definitely been a jerk in the past though. I think it takes developing a "their loss" mindset and sticking to it.

But I will say that from my recent experience back in the dating world guys are much, much more distracted or quick to flit to the next shiny thing that comes along than they used to be. I blame Grindr. I'm notoriously forward, it kind of works. If I like someone I'll just out my cards out. I won't fixate on them, I'll give them time to breathe. If I don't like someone or feel no spark, I always say to them something awesome about them but then lightly mention that I think they deserve better than someone who isn't feeling it.

Dealing with Rejection: Living openly and learning to forgive

Since someone I fall for could be another guys worst nightmare and therefore I better wait till he's looking me in the face. I'm surprised that 10 comments in and no one has mentioned that while we all have probably just stopped talking to someone because people in general hate confrontation that we really owe it to the other person to just be straight with them and tell them why you don't want to go on a second or third date with them instead of disappearing off the face of the planet and leave them wondering what went wrong.

I don't know why anyone would expect a single encounter to lead automatically to more. Only in exceptional circumstances is that likely to occur. In business you can meet with dozens of suppliers and like a lot of them. But only one or two will become permanent fixtures Its the way life works. I'm not sure that was the best analogy, and I don't think anyone is saying just because you go in one date that it means you automatically are agreeing to more. Just remember that it's likely nothing is going to happen overnight. So just keep getting out there, meet people, and enjoy yourself.

Eventually a match will come along. Well many gays are delusional and lazy, always looking for an easy fix or someone else to blame for the problems they bring on themselves. Every guy who dismisses you or disappears is nothing but a blessing. It helps you narrow your world down to the better choices remaining. Rejection is natural. Every guy is looking for "something" even if he doesn't know what it is.

It may feel bad, but it's almost never about you - but about them. Honestly, I envy most guys, since I fill a very small niche. You need to look at yourself and realize why someone should want to date you and understand it. If you are making an effort, then realize that you're at the top of the dating tree.

The simple truth is that most guys aren't putting that much effort in. I'm just getting to the point where I feel self conscious about everything, and I don't know how to gauge if a date even went well or not. You're too far in your head.

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It happens to all of us I'm sure, but that is a rabbit hole my friend. Focusing on anything is like zooming in on a fractal. The more you put a microscope to something, the more you're going to find. Put that microscope on yourself and all of your imperfections and you'll find nothing but more of the same. If instead you shift that point of focus to something else..

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Something positive, the same will occur. Sometimes in order to get out of my own head about finding "the one", I'll focus on all of the awesome things that make me a unique person. I've done, seen, and experienced such a unique mix of things that nobody else out there will have my exact personality and preferences.

Once you shift the way you looking at things, just sit back and try to relax into where you're at. Get back into playing the game, but do it for fun, because this is all one big ridiculous dance we're doing. If you settle into a good mindset about this, just watch the quality of guys improve that come your way.

People will sense your confidence and want to be a part of it. They always say, it's the "journey not the destination blah blah blah"..

There's so much truth to that friend. Better kick it and try to enjoy the ride along to your dream partner, eh? If something permanent develops that.. You need to go into dates with no sense of stress - that's when things work out. I learned that lesson in tennis: The stress disappears, you play increasingly well, and its enjoyable. It might be wise to go about dating the same way. I am feeling the exact same way right now. But I'd recover pretty quickly, and try with another guy.

Sep 12, 9: I just suck it up and keep moving.. Rejection is apart of dating! Sep 13, 2: It is hard but think of it like this: You're applying for a job and a person interviews lots of candidates. You may be good at typing and organizing but the other candidate is good at reports and accounting. The employee is looking for a bank teller.

Who is he going to choose? Most likely the second candidate, right unless he has a crappy rapport? Does that mean you suck?

Hang in There

Does that mean you're incompetent or useless? It means you probably should look into employees who are more interested in your skills-- typing and organizing. In a similar sense, we all have something distinct and unique about ourselves. Certain things which people don't care for but certain things that people do. You just gotta keep on hustlin' and bustlin' till you find the person who seems to complement you the most.

Ways One can Effectively Handle Rejection in a Gay Relationship

If it makes you any happy, I think you're plenty handsome. Don't take rejection personally and it'll help a lot! FreshstartDE Posts: Sep 14, We all have different ideas of whats attractive and different relationship goals. Not fitting into someone elses plan is nothing to take personal.

I actually have a harder time rejecting someone then being rejected. This is a personal favorite of mine. For the past year or dating, I have made the conscious effort to NOT state what it is I am looking for upon meeting someone in person or online. I am very happy to remain single. I have a wonderful career, great friends and an amazing family that keep me pretty busy.