Why dont men dating transgenders realize they are gay

As a teen with an FtM female to male transgender writes, "I just turned 18 a couple days ago. I have been dating an FtM for about five months but just found out that he is an FtM yesterday. I still am in love with him, but I feel like if I keep dating him then I'm a lesbian.

Is this true? That is a really good question. The answer is, probably not. Not really. Sex refers to a person's biological maleness or femaleness. Females typically have XX chromosomes and males typically have XY chromosomes.

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Chromosomes are long pieces of DNA that carry the genetic material that people inherit from their parents. Sex is determined immediately when a woman's egg is fertilized by a man's sperm. If an X sperm fertilizes an X egg, the fetus will be female.

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If a Y sperm fertilizes the X egg, the fetus will be male. Gender, on the other hand, refers to the cultural, and psychological traits typically associated with one sex or the other. Babies are usually assumed to have a male gender at birth if they have a penis, and a female gender if they have a vulva.

Gender identity is how someone feels about their gender assignment.

Sexual orientation, being lesbian, gay, bisexual or straight refers to who you are attracted to. So if you have an FTM partner, you could definitely identify as straight , even if he has biologically female anatomy, since his gender identity is male. Growing up, Alison was slight and slender, something she frequently bragged about "to the confusion of her boy peers," as she recalled.

When she started puberty, she began to struggle with feelings of discomfort in and anxiety about her body—she was terrified of becoming big, muscular, and masculine like her older brother, whom she described as "a very shitty misogynist.

Read more: Fearing the psychological and physical discomfort that puberty would bring, Alison turned to "drugs that DARE taught me would stunt your growth," which she took in an attempt to ensure her body would remain small. At the time, she just saw herself as a particularly femme gay guy; though she was undoubtedly attracted to men, she had difficulty relating to them.

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It wasn't until college that Alison realized that she identified as a woman. A few months into her transition, she realized she was attracted to women as well. Alison isn't entirely sure why her sexual orientation changed after she began living according to her true gender identity. Because she didn't identify as male anymore, she suggested, she could "conceive of women as possible romantic or sexual interests" without having to stomach her "disgust at male heterosexuality" or having to view herself as complicit in it. She also noted that having sex with men before her transition made her feel more feminine: Seriously, I used to be a rake-thin, femme, fag bottom, and now I'm a curvy, andro dyke, mostly top.

What the fuck? In addition, Alison believes that transitioning had a profound effect on her sex drive—she mentioned feeling a noticeable mental and emotional shift after starting hormone replacement therapy HRT.

The Transgender Dating Dilemma

HRT for trans women generally includes two medications. One is a testosterone-blocker, which effectively nullifies testosterone in the body. The other is estrogen, which replaces the testosterone and begins the process of a second puberty.

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On HRT, trans women experience many of the pubertal changes that cisgender women do, such as breast development. Alison says that, once she got testosterone out of her system, she no longer felt like she absolutely had to have sex—or, as she puts it, that "cloud of incessant horniness dissipated.



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Walter Bockting, a professor of medical psychology at Columbia University who specializes in LGBT health, says there isn't a clear consensus on whether hormones influence sexual orientation. However, "the role of hormones in the development of gender identity or sexual orientation is less clear and remains unknown. One hypothesis Dr. Bockting mentioned posits that, with the suppression of testosterone and the administration of estrogen, "transgender women's sexual orientation becomes somewhat less fixed—as research indicates that it is more fixed among men than among women," as he put it.

The role of hormones in the development of gender identity or sexual orientation is less clear and remains unknown. But there could be a cultural or psychological explanation as well, Dr.

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Bockting was quick to note. Research on the topic remains spotty at best; there's little sense of how common shifts in sexual orientation are among trans people, though among trans communities anecdotal evidence suggests such shifts aren't uncommon. A study , which surveyed trans people who visited the endocrine outpatient clinic at the Max Planck Institute of Psychiatry in Munich, found that "self-reported change in sexual orientation is quite common" in both male-to-female and female-to-male trans people.

Of the 70 trans women in the study group,

Why dont men dating transgenders realize they are gay
Why dont men dating transgenders realize they are gay
Why dont men dating transgenders realize they are gay
Why dont men dating transgenders realize they are gay
Why dont men dating transgenders realize they are gay
Why dont men dating transgenders realize they are gay