Gay dating difficulty

Gay men answering questions: Be nice. A bit of sass is fine now and then, but don't be a dick.

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See also: Rule 1. Why is gay dating so difficult? I'm 27 and ive come to find the gay dating scene to be a nightmare and next to impossible. It's like almost become not even worth the hassle for me.

Why is gay dating so difficult? : AskGayMen

Idk what it is but it's like so many gay guys are afraid to commit to anything, are self absorbed and all about instant gratification. A third of the guys won't even acknowledge u on these dating sites, the other third acknowledge u but string u along and never commit to meeting. Or they're all in open relationships and want to see other people. If your in love why see other people? Also, many have these ridiculous criteria that half of them don't even meet and if u don't fit into the description of this picture perfect ideal image they can't be bothered.

Granted, this all occurs within the straight community too but it's seems way worse in the gay community. I've noticed it seems that many gay guys have this entitlement attitude that like because gays were discriminated against for so many years that now society owes them something and they are entitled to act however they please, even at the disregard for others.

Oh and btw, I know people are going to say I'm the problem in all these instances; just know that I've done a lot of self reflecting and have not acted in ways that would be pushing guy away or cause them to act like this. It's tough. Or maybe just elderly people. I dunno. I'm a white haired old coot, and I scratch my head in wonderment at you youngsters. I see everything you are talking about, and I know it is most real, and I genuinely grieve for you. It is a strange paradox that just as you youngsters come into all your freedom, and the right to marriage, etc, the entire gay community dissolves for lack of attention.

There was so much beauty in the gay community that it grieves me to see all the gaytowns dissolve, and the pubs close, and the charities die for lack of attendance.

When I was your age they were still raiding our pubs and taking us to jail for having a beer with our friends. Yet in that harsh time everyone had a best buddy, a spread of friends, and every gay guy I have known had experienced or was experiencing a long term love affair. I have spent over forty years in three committed relationships. It used to be as simple as, "I like you, you like me, let's get this together! Gays are in the grip of a rampant and pervasive narcissism. I hope we snap out of it while there is still the basis of a community intact.

It's just ironic that as a community who demands so much respect and acceptance from other, we can't even accept or acknowledge our own half the time. You are absolutely correct, of course. For example, in my situation, I am from a small city on the south coast of England. There is nowhere I can go to meet men.

I don't want to just meet any man, I want to make friends with gay people I actually get along with. Perhaps the gay communitiy is so spread out because we lack a unifying factor for our generation. It is somewhat uknown territory for us, to be so accepted by scoeity even though lots of prejudice remains in certain quarters. I came from a comparable zone in the United States.

The funny thing is this, we are everywhere. If you can access a gay mate or two you will usually tap into the friendship network, and be off to the races.

I know it is a stereotype, but it is true that as a group we are often involved with all artistic pursuits. We also tend to be involved in the support roles around local churches and their charities. The choir, etc.

The Rise of Dating-App Fatigue

Sometimes visiting and volunteering with such activities will open doors into the local gay underground. Yeah, your advice is really good. I know such a network in the most informal sense does exist. It is just about starting the process. I'm actually moving to Tokyo soon for work, so I am hoping there will be just as big a network out there too.

Want to add to the discussion?

You are in for an amazing experience in Japan. I hope you realize how different their culture is, and that you realize they won't necessarily tell you when our ways are violating their ways. We arrest people for being naked in public, but have nude art everywhere. They arrest people for nude art, but are not embarrassed by nakedness at all. We believe in individualism, and in being true to your convictions even against a mob. They believe that sacrificing your needs and even your beliefs to the good of group harmony is the ultimate virtue.

You could go on into tomorrow talking about all the ways we are opposite to each other. I think this has a great deal to do with why both cultures are tremendously fascinated with each other ever since first contact.

Approached with the right attitude this can be a fantastic adventure of discovery and exploration. Here is hoping you have a great Christmas season, and that your coming adventures be the events of a lifetime! Dating, in general, sucks. You could be straight and many of these frustrations would remain unchanged. It seems that way because you're not straight, so you don't have a good perspective on what the straight dating scene is like for a late twenty-something.

I'm being deadly serious when I say I have come to the point of accepting that I might be single all my life.

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