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And while I use casual argot in general conversations, I still recoil a bit from their imprecision and -- in my pedantic way -- tend to over detail things which generally gets a laugh from my friends.

It’s Time to Take Your Temperature on Topping and Bottoming

When I say top , I merely mean a guy who likes to penetrate his partner. When I say bottom , I merely mean a guy who likes to be penetrated. My buddy Dan No, I'm not speaking of myself in the third person -- I'd just come out and talk about me is a dominant bottom.

His boyfriend is a submissive top. And that confuses uninitiated minds.

Who's On Top?

If you want your feet rubbed but not your shoulders, this doesn't indicated anything more about your emotional standing in relationships than it does about wanting your shoulders rubbed instead of your feet. It's just a region you like rubbed. No matter how you slice it and dice it, having the prostate massaged there are tools and techniques for doing so generally generates an orgasm of significantly greater pleasure than just the phallus alone.

Some men discover this and learn to love having a cock up their ass. Other men aren't so easily stimulated and are thus phallically charged. So when you say "top" or "bottom" you have to understand that the terms aren't always specific to what you want to say. They aren't offensive or bad, just imprecise and sometimes precision is necessary. Thank you for your feedback! When do gay men identify as top or bottom? What can a gay male couple do if neither of us want to bottom? What hand do gay couples use to marry? I suppose this answer will disappoint some, because it isn't particularly gay.

However, I come from an unusual perspective. I don't think that gay people have three eyeballs or something. I suggest the following two books: The New Topping Book eBook: Dossie Easton, Janet W. Kindle Store Amazon. The New Bottoming Book eBook: Kindle Store. Originally Answered: What is the difference between a top and bottom in homosexuality? It can be used as both a noun, verb or adjective: The top topped the bottom man. The bottom bottomed for the top man.

Who is the top, and who is the bottom? A bottom is usually the receptive partner during sexual penetration. This frequently refers to MSMs who are penetrated via the anus during anal sex. Bottom may also describe a wider social context of submission within a romantic or sexual relationship, though this element does not apply to all people who prefer to bottom.

In gay male sexuality, a total bottom is someone who assumes an exclusively receptive role during anal or oral intercourse.

A power bottom is someone who aggressively enjoys being the receptive partner. A versatile bottom is one who prefers to bottom but who tops occasionally. An oral bottom alternatively described as being the "oral active" partner is the exclusively receptive partner in oral sex, providing the penetrative partner, or oral top alternatively described as being the "oral passive" partner , with unreciprocated fellatio and irrumatio. Versatile refers to a person who enjoys both topping and bottoming, or being dominant and submissive, and may alternate between the two in sexual situations.

Versatility is a concept of lifestyle.

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The reciprocal scenario, where both men take turns fucking each other, is often exercised as a celebration of equality. What sets this scenario apart from the others is the versatility of the men involved. Versatility is a unique and important feature of male anal sex. Some men consider it liberating; Versatility to them is akin to speaking two different languages.

Urban Dictionary: Bottom

It requires a special kind of playfulness, creativity, curiosity, and coordination. According to some, living a versatile lifestyle implies a certain openness to new things and an opposition to labels , stereotypes and generalizations. Therefore, this concept differs from heterosexual relationships where sexual compatibility does not begin with guessing who will end up as top or bottom.

A Austrian study on gay pornography has shown that at least In this study, the performances of 5, actors were considered. The study also found that the actor with the larger penis was more likely to act as the top. Versatility is a common theme of erotic artist Tom of Finland. For trans men who still have a vagina , topping and bottoming can also involve penile penetration. Top , bottom and versatile , with regard to sexual activity between males, refer specifically to the penetrative role, regardless of the physical positioning during sex.

When used in reference to heterosexual and lesbian sex , the terms top, bottom and versatile usually refer only to position and not to the penetrative role. No scientific study has ever been conducted as to what percentage of the gay and bisexual male population prefers any given role. The popular assumption is that the majority prefer to bottom and that those who prefer to top are in the minority.

A tally of 55, profiles on gay. The preferences seemed to vary by state, however. In Oregon, "versatile" profiles made up nearly half BDSM seems to have adopted and derived these terms as loan words from gay culture. In the hanky code , a person flagging the top or active role would wear the hanky in the left pocket, the bottom or passive role on the right. Acts which were not divisible into distinct roles however, such as "69" or "anything" followed a pattern where one flagged interest by wearing the hanky on the right, uninterest by wearing it on the left, and preferences that did not relate to sexual mechanics, such as uniform fetishism or prostitution, followed a pattern where the seeker flagged on the left and the object of desire flagged on the right.

Where do you align when it comes to being dominant or submissive? One way to question this, he posits, is to approach something other than penetrative sex. If you received the kiss, you're the submissive one. There is no aspect of sex that doesn't have, at its core, an aspect of power. So part of the thing that you have to ask yourself is, 'What am I comfortable with? Do I like initiating sex? Do I like telling my partner what to do, or do I like being told what to do?


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