Gay hiv positive dating


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Put simply, an HIV-positive person can suppress their HIV levels though taking antiretrovirals daily, maintaining an undetectable viral load. Like many queer men, I used to live in fear of acquiring HIV, even as a teenager, before I was having sex with men. I used to force my pediatrician to test me for HIV when I had unprotected oral sex with a woman. The results, not surprisingly, always came back negative. I felt guilty about it because I knew, logically, there was no foundation for my discomfort. Depending on our age, many of us growing up were told it was a death sentence.

At the time, it was a plague, and in lesser developed countries and some parts of the United States, it still is. Today, however, it is a no longer a death sentence and men with HIV live rich and fulfilling lives. In doing so, we reduce this man to his status. Nevertheless, I understand the fear many of you have of acquiring HIV.


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I understand how it impacts all our lives. I understand why you might not feel comfortable sleeping with positive men.

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I hope through sharing my experience, I can help put some of those fears to rest. Of all the couples he treated, none of those living with HIV and on standard ART treatment had a discernible viral load in their semen. And yet the couples were under high stress about HIV transmission.

He decided to say something—doctors needed to talk to their patients about the realities of the risks involved. The risk is so low that to tell patients they must use a condom [to prevent the contraction of HIV] without telling them that there is virtually no evidence to support this statement is unethical. He tells me that there has not been one case of someone living with HIV, on suppressive ART therapy with an undetectable viral load, passing on the virus. With my understanding of HIV deepening, I took these discoveries and bounded back into the dating scene with new found enthusiasm.

CDC: Start Talking. Stop HIV.: Never Stop

Enthusiastic because I now respected the seriousness of the virus without living in irrational fear of it. I figured, I cried on the last dick I had in front of me, it could only get better from there, right? After a lot of swiping, the basic bitch inside me was thrilled when I landed a date with a model.

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Everything was going off without a hitch: We were drinking, having a great time, and then we started making out. It was hot.

Dating While HIV Positive - POZ

Until he began crying into my mouth. I pulled away to investigate what the hell was happening.


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  • How I Learned to Get Over My Fear of Dating HIV-positive Men.
  • That's when he told me he was living with HIV and was scared that, despite the fun we were having, once he told me, I would get up and leave—because that's what so many others had done. While the HIV didn't put me off, the mouth crying effectively ended any sexual tension that had been building, quickly bringing our evening to an end. In the car home, as I was trying to process the mouth crying, I stumbled onto a Queerty article featuring the newest dating app to hit the scene sweet Jesus, just what we need. The app connects wealthy older men with those looking for a sugar daddy.

    Never one to rule out a daddy, I kept reading.

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    Finding this jarring, I reached out to DaddyBear for further clarification. A spokesperson for the app solidified their stance: In another article, their CEO further confirmed this statement by saying, "No one would like to date people living with HIV unless he is living with it…many rich and successful gay sugar daddies do not want to date gay men living with HIV, which is the reason why we launched this app to meet their needs. Welp—at that point, I'd officially had it with the tomfoolery of it all. These assertions, and the assertions of others who are ill-informed, are an impediment to understanding and practicing safe sex.

    I think I just came up with my new app idea—it's for negative men looking specifically to date those living with the virus.

    Gay Dating Website & App Owners Join the Fight Against HIV

    Hit me up, developers. I was eager to give it another shot with the model, but it didn't work out. It had nothing to do with his HIV. He hated my wink—bitch. So, here I am, single again, hopefully armed with enough knowledge to keep me from crying on any more dicks—fingers crossed.


    1. Would you like to comment on this page?;
    2. Dating While HIV Positive.
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    4. I Prefer to Date Men Who are HIV Positive​.

    Read This Next: Fighting Words. Research shows that if they're getting treated, I'm not at risk of contracting it from them—even without a condom. Get your weekly Tonic fix here. VICE Elsewhere.

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