
What makes me tick? I knew the basics, obviously: I generally prefer to get fucked. I like guys with big dicks. And because I live in a college town, I tend to wind up fucking guys a few years younger than me. But what exactly made for good sex? Are there qualities associated with good encounters that I could home in on and better seek out in future partners?
And conversely, are there qualities I should steer clear of? The answer is a resounding yes, and quite frankly, analyzing the data stunned me.
But before I get into the analysis, I need to make one thing clear: This is a project about my sex life. What turns me on. What gets me off. Without further ado, I present to you my spreadsheet. Go on, click on it.
The Phenomenon of ‘Bud Sex’ Between Straight Rural Men
Take a look. Let me go over a few basic things. Entries are ordered by date, but each partner is assigned a unique number. Repeats are numbered as Guys with ratings of 9 or higher are colored red. Overnights are colored purple. Then I assign each encounter a subjective score from 1 to 10 1 being the worst sex ever; 10 being the best sex ever. I also add a series of comments that have proven the most interesting for me to look back on in this analysis.
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Are certain factors associated with higher overall scores? But with 50 encounters with 43 unique partners, I figure there is some kernel of truth in the numbers.
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Of course, some have too few people in them to be meaningful e. Other categories line up exactly where I expect them to be e. I expected higher scores to be associated with sex without condoms. I just intuitively figured that this would be the case. And god knows how many guys lose their erections repeatedly with them, which is an unending frustration for a bottom in need.
All these reasons informed my choice to start using PrEP almost exactly a year ago. In fact, the average score for sex with condoms was a bit higher than the average for sex without them. Indeed, I gave a score of 9 or higher to two of the four encounters that involved condoms. While I recognize that this subjective scoring is confounded by god knows how many unnamed factors, this still surprised me. That said, what does seem to make a difference albeit a slight one is whether or not that condom use was planned. I quickly got the sense this year that planning sex without condoms requires breaking a code of silence that makes many gay men uncomfortable.
I think this is reflected in the data: I rated the sex I had without planning ahead to use or not use condoms higher than when we agreed to use or not use condoms ahead of time. Of course, this pattern is largely made possible by PrEP. In fact, I suspect that poppers get a bum rap here because I sometimes use them as a crutch for bad sex. Lesson learned: The figures for alcohol were even more surprising for me.
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In fact, I regularly disparage the idea. But the numbers seem to tell a different story. In many cases, this time together socializing helped develop a chemistry that translated into better sex. All this talk about socializing leads me to the more complicated stuff—the comments section! Beyond just sheer numbers, how is good sex described? What do I complain about after bad sex? The consistency truly shocked me. Disconnected sex.
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I mean, this man could have been a model. Sculpted body. Cheekbones for days.
Bad kissing is definitely a theme in the bad encounters. Take a look at Nolberto 5: He tried to fuck me, failed. He jerked off and came. But that becomes beautifully and amusingly crystalized in these reviews. But what does this tell me? Jacob, oh Jacob. Hallowed be thy name. Probably since my ex. Has a partner. Called an Uber car to take me to his place around 1: We fucked for hours. Woke up, fucked again. He came twice inside me at night, then again the next morning. He had a pet tarantula lol.
First poz guy to ever cum inside me. I knew immediately he was the one to break that threshold. There is a lot going on here. Jacob was the first guy I knew was HIV positive to cum inside me. This gave the experience a particular meaning to me. I wrote about struggling with this decision last year, before this experience, when I was still asking undetectable poz guys to pull out. The risk of transmission from an undetectable poz top and a neg bottom on PrEP is exceedingly low. As I was getting out of the shower before I left to meet Jacob, my heart was racing.
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In the moment, I felt somehow that I was more connected to him. That I was giving him my trust. This site uses cookies to improve your experience and deliver personalised advertising. You can opt out at any time or find out more by reading our cookie policy.
The Gay Man's Good Sex Guide
W hether you consider it a dangerous side-effect or a happy accident, the increased equality and visibility for LGBT people has led to a perceived lack of need for sexual labels. Research has shown that a number of people who prefer not to identify solely as gay or straight is rising, with one study revealing only six per cent of young people now view themselves as exclusively homosexual. While it gives them sexual freedom, it can destroy their relationships with families, leaving them open to prejudice and criticism in their everyday lives.
Should he have to? Does it make his feelings any less real? The main obstacle is straight men who have sex with men are not usually open about this.
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