Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves?

There are an endless amounts of ways for gay men to get their dick sucked in large metropolitan areas: This seems a pretty fair assessment to me. You may end up being pleasantly surprised by what you find.

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This excuse for not meeting again is the oldest and lamest of them all. We are all busy at work, and honestly, I would expect nothing less from the person I am dating. I love a man with drive. Again, I am calling bullshit on this excuse. We all have jobs and lives: If you are not in a position to date someone right now, you should not be going on dates.

Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves?

Unless you plan to date a newborn baby, we all have baggage. We all have pasts and sometimes the things that have happened to us in the past can be very traumatic. I have found that most strong-willed people can take that baggage and turn it into a positive, therefore making themselves a better person in the process.

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We all have exes. We all have problems with our jobs or strive for something better.

10 Reasons Why Gay Dating Is Really Hard | HuffPost

Like I said, we are all in different places and some of our baggage is heavier than others. But asking questions and being honest usually does the trick. It is not, however an acceptable excuse to not see someone again. Because if you are going on an initial date: Here is my favorite of the bullshit excuses for not getting together with someone again.

If someone approaches me, I ask what they are looking for and take it from there. It happens.

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For example, a grown ass man recently took me out on a date and told me via text and in person multiple times that he was looking for that someone special. Upon being called out, he proceeded to block me on all forms of social media. My biggest pet peeve in life especially in our current political climate is having someone say something to me and then pretend it never happened. There are boundless ways for us to communicate, which should make it very simple for these misunderstandings to never happen in the first place.

The only person this really hurts in the long run is the person who does the ghosting. I understand that we are attached to our devices at all times nowadays and correspondence can oftentimes seem meaningless. However, there are actual real-life people on the other end of those screens and those people have these pesky little things called: When you continuously disappear to get out of telling someone you are not interested or out of any problem in life for that matter, you are not actually dealing with anything at all.

It may be easy to vanish from thin air, but trust me, the ghosts of your past have ways of coming back to haunt you no matter how hard you try to run from them.

10 Reasons Why Gay Dating Is Really Hard

The only applicable excuse for not seeing someone on a second date or breaking things off with them is this:. See how easy that is? No one is perfect. No one will ever be perfect. And for some reason, many gay men think something perfect is right around the corner, thus continuing this endless cycle of first dates without a second date.

Yes, it stings. Rejection stings one way of the other. Dating is hard. But when it happens time and time again, we build a resolve that makes us jaded, biter and nasty toward the very group of people we are trying to date. Why make plans with someone for a second date when you have no intention of seeing them again? We are all adults so it interests me why we act like schoolyard bullies when it comes to dating instead of simply saying what we feel.

Has this ever happened to you? Do you agree or disagree with this assessment? Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

Star Observer If this is what we all want, why are we making it so hard for ourselves? Here are some of the reasons I have received for not being asked on a second date: I think we are looking for different things. I or you have a lot of baggage. We must have misunderstood each other.

It happens to me all the time. And the responsibility is on the top because he has to have an erection in order for sex to happen. The bottom gets the good end of the deal. Dennis has been thinking a lot about position lately because he keeps getting bait-and-switched: Some gay men are reluctant to define themselves as top or bottom.

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Stan fell for his boyfriend when the subject of position came up on their first date. The issue is made more complex by that fact that looks are no indication of proclivity. Gone are the handkerchief codes of the seventies, where a hankie in the left pocket indicated a guy was a top, and the right indicated a bottom. Adrian considered himself a top when he met his current boyfriend, Mike, who had never bottomed. The first time, Mike was nervous, so they joked about it to make things more comfortable. You have to be the bottom!

Right, the difficulty in New York may have less to do with position than competition. The real challenge in New York has nothing to do with being a top or bottom.