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32 Things Gay Asian Men Are Really Tired Of Hearing

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‘The Asian Playboy’ Has the Perfect Response to Asian Women Who Say They ‘Don’t Date Asian Men’

Want to join? Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a new text post. In , we were putting these connections back together—I had just gone to Korea with my family that summer, and my grandfather had given me these books. But there was still so much no one had ever taught me. I practiced it as he watched and corrected me.

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Roses re-emerging all through the garden. I think it's cursed there, that rose. There's no record anywhere of what I can now see the dream was about: I knew what rice queens were, and they didn't usually go for me.

When I worked at A Different Light bookstore in the Castro in s-era San Francisco, I remember selling them copies of OG magazine—short for "Oriental Guy"—these men fantasizing about the sex trips they took to Asian countries like the Philippines, Vietnam, Thailand, all of them in search of smooth young Asian men living in precarious economic conditions who were willing to do things sexually for, well, probably less than the cost of the magazine, in order to survive.

I had also been to the gay bars in San Francisco for Asian men, to discover they were for Asian men looking for white men and vice versa. As someone who was half, I was just exactly not enough of what each type wanted—exactly enough to be invisible to them or at least not eligible as desirable.

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They still walk by me sometimes, these mixed Asian and white gay couples, and I smile as both men seem to project their insecurities on to me, holding hands a little tighter as they walk by. As a result, I gave up on the idea that I would ever end up dating either kind of man—the gay white man who liked Asian men was likely not ever going to ask me out.

I remember dancing with a white man once at a club, and he reached over and pulled my shirt front down to reveal my hairy chest. He looked shocked and then turned and left the dance floor, not even a good-bye, like I'd lied to him about the goods. I like Asian men, he said, after this confession.

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It's why I lived in Japan, why I studied Japanese. I tried to imagine it. Having an erotic imagination so focused on one race of people. All that my ex-boyfriends had in common was me. Questions I didn't ask ran through my head. Were you even gay if this is what your sexuality was? What was your sexuality if it was based on race and not gender preference?

You can only change her heart and emotions. And I think that starts with how you choose to engage AFs either in a constructive, healthy, and holistic manner or in combative, non-productive way. In all cases, we are being dictated, Hollywood-splaind and Asian female-splained, as to what WE as Asian men should be.

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Well fuck that, let me make my own choice of what it means to be an Asian man. I personally believe that Asian men should live a holistic lifestyle, one that is well rounded, that seeks our own happiness, but also creating happiness in others.

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