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The only person to survive the worst terrorist attack in American history walks out of the bunker-like restroom beneath the ruins of what used to be the Alibi Room. How very French! The Space Needle Broad St Inside sources have informed The Stranger that the floors of the restrooms at the top of Seattle's defining landmark, the Space Needle, are often spoiled by pools of vomit.

The rotation of the restaurant, combined with its considerable distance from the ground, is not the best environment for a weak digestive system that's breaking down a very expensive meal. Otherwise, the windowless restrooms are otherwise clean and unimpressive. Pioneer Square Stink Alley Even if you were to place portable toilets by this notorious alley it would not solve the smell. The smell is here to stay, with or without the homeless humans who frequently empty the contents of their beer-swelled bladders onto its eroded concrete. Elliott Bay Book Co. Each stall is supplied with chalkboard and chalk, and philosophical arguments wax heated and long.

Great for people with plenty of time on their hands, and who want to meet someone interested in long, heated philosophical arguments. Word to the wise: You know where it's been, after all. Still, there's no better place for drunken ladies, as Hattie's offers private, closet-like stalls that easily muffle the sounds of vomiting. The Human Toilet "My family is extremely religious, insanely religious, and I felt guilty about masturbating and I was trying to find a way to make myself stop," the Human Toilet explains, "so I would only allow myself to 'abuse myself' if I drank my own pee first.

Now almost 30, the Human Toilet claims to have imbibed the piss of more than 37 women. He keeps a running count in his "piss diary. She drank all the water and beer she could over the weekend and he drank every drop of her piss. But then she started getting into it. No one knew what it meant but us. Heaven for people who can't stop checking out the action, even when nature calls, and for that unbeatable frisson of reverse voyeurism.

Coed, so that men can finally find out what goes on in the ladies' room, and with every wall, plumbing fixture, and accessory available for sale. Purchase of any one of those things gives you naming rights The Stranger 's founder and publisher, Tim Keck, is memorialized for all time thanks to a sinkside mirror. The epicenter of a hip, relaxed attitude toward plumbing.

Any and All Bookstores It is a truth silently but more or less universally acknowledged that the pleasure of browsing in a bookstore causes bowels to loosen. Many book lovers report that within a few minutes of entering a bookstore, they immediately and forcefully have to poop. Luckily, many bookstores seem prepped for this. Re-bar Howell St Restrooms in gay bars have always been great cruising spots.

Homos lining up to take a leak can check each other out and, once inside, get a good look at each other in the light. But Re-bar has never been a gay bar. It's Seattle's original mixed club and the bar's restrooms are thoughtfully laid out to facilitate opposite-sex romance. Located directly behind the beer coolers in the main room, Re-bar's men's and women's restrooms share a single entry-point, forcing the lines for both restrooms to merge. This gives men and women--as well as men and men and women and women--a chance to check each other out. Throw in some funky artwork and, in the men's room, a tiny private stall with a lock on the door, and Re-bar's restrooms spell love "L-U-V.

The bushes at the corner of 11th and Pine, near the stone steps, are a particular favorite. Wave to the people staring at you from the building across the street. It's a big, crowded restaurant and both of the restrooms at Cafe Septieme are single-seaters. Ace Hotel First Ave Deluxe Room 1 hides its restroom behind a swiveling secret wall, tiled on one side, mirrored on the other.

The Green Room First Ave Behind the door to the restroom there is a light that is nearly blinding. It is almost as if heaven is waiting for you. Seattle Weekly Western Ave, Suite The men's restroom at the Seattle Weekly two sinks, big mirror, two urinals, a stall compels those little head nods that people make at people they hate but feel nonetheless obligated to offer some vague recognition. Oddly, none of the men on staff seem to mind looking at themselves in a mirror flecked with dental-floss-flung chunks of departed arts editor Mark D.

Fefer he was assiduous about his after-lunch tooth care because he is, much like managing editor Chuck Taylor, such an easy and optimistic person to work with, a man who who never tries to strike up disingenuous and weirdly arrogant conversations while you are urinating. As a cultural space in the life of this city, it is a great restroom, as many current and former Seattle Weekly employees can attest, to go into and cry after being senselessly mauled by the interests of a corporation a corporation that, by the way, has made huge contributions to George W.

Bush's reelection campaign. Finally, it is also great restroom to emerge from having resolved to send an e-mail from your Hotmail account to the editor of the other, better-written weekly newspaper in town begging for work even though you know because at this point you just no longer care that Seattle Weekly management has installed software to monitor everything you do on your computer when Fefer and Taylor and the like are off in the restroom peeing and flossing and faking it with employees they can't stand.

Sadly, Rosebud has just two single restrooms, so you may be stuck doing a little dance just outside the door while you wait your turn. But the wait won't be so bad, as the restrooms' doors are made of frosted glass, so you can see if the lucky restroom-goer ahead of you is nearly done. And if you see a silhouette of that person dilly-dallying by coiffing his hair or powdering her nose, you can bang out your protest.

The Cheesecake Factory Pike St The slices of dessert aren't the only thing decadent about the Cheesecake Factory; the restrooms are much fancier than you'd expect from an all-American "family restaurant" chain.

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Make a few trips while you dine, to burn off your super-sized dinner. Theater Schmeater Summit Ave The restroom here is risky. Instead of standard metal-wall stalls, each toilet "stall" is wrapped in a theater-style curtain--very DIY, like the rest of the facility. Which means if the curtain's closed, you can't knock to see if it's occupied, and pulling back the curtain could reveal a show you didn't pay to see.


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Twilight Exit E Madison St The restroom here mirrors itself, with a short stall partition dividing the entire narrow room in half; there's a toilet, sink, and door on each side. Resist the urge to stand on your commode and see if the graffiti is greener on the other side.

Elysian Brewing Co. Whether your dinner is going remarkably well or totally cruddy, you can always use a confidence boost halfway through. Head to the restroom, where the mirrors do the boosting: They're the rare kind of mirrors that make one looker taller and thinner.

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Strike a pose, and take a long gaze before heading back to the table, you sexy bitch. Attle's home of the worst name this side of Fremont's forthcoming Moisture Festival and the Cadillac Grill home to food , the Men's Room is the only men's room in town where you can eat, drink, and do your business all in one spot.

Viva la convenience! Richard Hugo House 11th Ave Certain visits to the restroom take longer than others: Some people are just looking to tinkle; others need to unload an entire turkey dinner. The lights in Richard Hugo House's strangely high-tech restrooms are on timed switches that accommodate this kind of variance. Just press the button that corresponds with the time you think you'll need inside: The trick is to be sure you don't underestimate. It's kind of harrowing but also kind of fun when the lights go out mid-poop.


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Neumo's E Pike St Not only is Neumo's host to an ever-fabulous series of music shows, it's also the hot new place to hurl! According to an ear-witness, three weeks ago some guy vomited in the men's room for at least half an hour. Chang's Westlake Center Nothing much to be said about these restrooms, except that you have to take a meat-locker-cold, studio-apartment-sized freight elevator down a couple floors to get to them. Plus, hour lobster! Nitelite Second Ave Ah, the glory of trough peeing. The fantastic lineup of penis heads shooting pee into a baby-size, bathtub-like receptacle undoubtedly makes the pee-shy squirm, but some of us rather enjoy the pleasure of comradely urinating rituals.

For the dive-bar-goer who enjoys the sport of free-spirited peeing, nothing quite equals the peeing trough in the men's room at the Nitelite, which has a kind of dingy charm and zero privacy--especially since you can get a perfect side-angle view of the trough and wiener parade in the mirror where you wash your hands.

Meridian 16 Cinemas Seventh Ave Any architectural plan that involves the construction of a semisecret floor just to house the restrooms is all right in our book. If you've ever had to whiz mid-film we're sure you'll agree.

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