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Invest in current and new relationships with friends and family to give you that boost and sense of connection that we all need. Make sure to look for other midlife gay men who display positive dating lifestyles or older gay couples who can be looked upon as role models to keep them visible in your mind and to help motivate you to see the possibilities that abound. Dating is not a passive activity. You must be proactive and go after what you want or the likelihood of success is minimized. Develop a strong resource bank of dating skills and behaviors that will promote the chances of more positive outcomes.

Strengthen your social skills, build more assertiveness and comfort with boundaries, enhance your self-esteem and body image, resolve unfinished business from the past, and get yourself into good physical and emotional shape. Get yourself armed and ready for love! Gay dating success can be yours in midlife, and at any age! Know yourself, develop a positive and optimistic mindset, build your repertoire of dating skills and behaviors, and live your life to the fullest!

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For more information on gay midlife and dating, here are a few resources that might be of interest. Campbell, CA: RCN Press. New York, NY: Avon Books. The Gay Love Coach does not represent or endorse the quality of any products, information, or materials displayed, purchased, or obtained by you as a result of its mention in this newsletter.

This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to [mailto: Thank you!

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A better approach might be, "You know, my stylist said only certain guys can pull off that style. I guess you're one of them If you get stuck, then offer to buy him a drink. This buys you time to think about something else to talk about. Once you've broken the ice, find something you guys have in common and go with it. If nothing is apparent ask him if he is interested in the things you're interested in and go from there.

Control your emotional valve. Be honest and open with your new prospect, but don't give too much too soon. Connecting with someone you like can be an overwhelming experience in its beginning stages. Take your time getting to know one another and let the details of your life and your emotions unfold naturally. Your first date might not be the time to talk about work stress or emotional issues with your father.

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Spend time in the beginning getting comfortable with each other and slowly open up. That way neither one of you are overwhelmed too early in the relationship. Play the odds. Sometimes playing the dating game is like playing a slot machine. It's attractive with its many colors and sounds, but always uncertain. Of course, there's the potential of hitting the jackpot, but unless you're extremely lucky you have to play more than a few coins to hit big.

If approaching a guy doesn't work the first time, then try, try again.