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Do you have any advice in regards to what he should be looking for?

About those review boards: Law enforcement agencies, always on the lookout for ways to "save" sex workers by making their jobs more dangerous, have gone after online sites, aka review boards, where clients rated and ranked escorts and—more importantly—escorts communicated with each other about safety, clients to avoid flaky, rude, unhygienic , and clients they absolutely shouldn't see erratic, threatening, violent.

But if you want to get to know a little about who someone is before you meet them, that's just how you do it now. Another rarely discussed, perfectly legal alternative to figuring out if an escort is for real: Note the keyword, though: PAY her for her time. Most ladies have a public social meeting fee that's lower than private-time rates. And remember the basic rules when you do decide to set a private-time date: Don't ask about sex and don't talk about money other than to briefly acknowledge that you have seen her rates and agree to pay for her time. Expect to use condoms and to abide by the rules of whoever you're seeing.

You can follow Mistress Matisse on Twitter mistressmatisse. I've been reading your column for years, and it has definitely helped me develop a sex-positive view of dating, relationships, sex, and otherwise. I've been seeing a girl recently who revealed to me she's a cam girl. I'm totally okay with it. She makes a great living, it's important to her, and it turns her on—all great things!

But it's something she likes to keep to herself, and for good reason, obviously. People, however, are obsessed with what other people do for a living. So what's the best answer for when I'm asked what she does? She's as unsure of what to say as I am.

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I'm bringing her to a company event I work in finance , and both of us are sure everyone is going to ask what she does cocktail party small talk is the worst! What are your thoughts on this subject and other things in a relationship like this? Say this: It's a great gig. I'm a tall, slender, attractive, fit, artistic, female year old, taking testosterone, and now without a partner. I'm not sure how to go about engaging in noncommittal quick sex dates.

I don't know of any escort services for the ladies, but I would be interested.

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I'm also interested in exploring the bisexual side of life. Where would you advise I go? They'll happily see female clients, as will many female sex workers, you just gotta ask—politely and, again, without talking about sex explicitly. You're paying for the escort's time, CAW, anything else that happens is just consenting adults doing consenting adult things.

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I have a suggestion for GAYMAN, the guy who just got out of an abusive relationship and wanted to know how to reconnect with his sexuality and other gay men. I came out three years ago, and I must say that joining the organization Frontrunners changed my life. I've met so many LGBTQ people, from all backgrounds, with extremely varied interests, and it really opened me up socially. I'm happy to say I've made some great friends in the year that I have participated.

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