Gay excuse dating


Those lines were taken straight from bios of Grindr profiles that I read this morning. They made me question why I decided to redownload the dating app time and again.

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The last profile bio I came across just broke my heart. Should that person apologize for being plus-size in this world? Should I? When I came out, I was excited to live in a time with plenty of dating apps for people like me to meet one another.


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I was naive then. I did not yet realize that once people saw my picture—my round, grinning face, thick glasses, oversized T-shirt and pants—they immediately marked me as undesirable. Hundreds of men rejected and ignored me, or even mocked me for having the nerve to ask them out. From my observations over the years, gay men can be very unforgiving when it comes to judging different body types that people have—even more so than straight men.

Many gay men spend a lot of time in the gym hoping to look like ancient Greek gods someday. Your fashion sense and how you carry yourself matter too, especially in big cities like Jakarta. But maybe because looking for approval is something that comes naturally in me, I need affirmations too sometimes.

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I think many people will agree. But a few days pass and nothing. You check in for a sign of life and silence prevails. You resign yourself to the fact that he has vanished and magically disappeared from your life, leaving a gaping void in your heart and a million unanswered questions. This guy always seems to have something better to do than commit to a date.

You may have something down on the books and then the day of, he's come down with tonsillitis and got run over by a car. This is the full of excuses guy, and quite frankly, any excuse not to see him again is a good excuse. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. His profile clearly stated he was 5 ft 10, so why am I now looking down at you? Not only is he a liar, but this is just completely awkward because I was percent expecting someone else.

He has a beard, he is wearing skinny jeans and he a flannel shirt. He is also a righteous and pretentious freedom fighter, and an activist who walks down the street chanting ''EU we love you'' while holding a homemade and illiterate sign that says "Migrants are welcome here. You hear his high pitched screech before you even see him, then you see him prancing down the street toward you and you just want to quickly die. He lives and breathes the gay scene, and can be found practicably on cue at G-A-Y Bar on a Saturday with his bunch of "sistas" twerking to Rhianna while wearing denim shorts and a tight vest.

He speaks with broken English and is constantly very happy with a huge smile plastered on his face. Quite frankly, he's too happy for my cynical British self to handle.

Never-Married Men Over Date-able or Debate-able? | Opinion | OZY

He has a lot of fellow European friends and they all talk in their own native language while I am just sat there looking blankly into thin air not understanding a single word. To stigmatize someone for making their best possible life choice, a choice that hurts nobody, seems ridiculous, especially in light of the divorce and affair rate. Courtney, a most eligible year-old bachelorette in Manhattan, dismisses any such stigma.

Turns out, neither has my friend John. Fall has come and almost gone. And quite fine with that.

Cherie Fox, 25

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Never-Married Men Over Date-able or Debate-able? Maybe nothing. By Rachel Levin. Source Gallery Stock. Source Corbis. Facebook Twitter Shares.

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