Dating as a gay teenager


It's not shocking that the people we have crushes on are those we see the most often. In fact, it's very common for teens to have crushes on their friends. When it comes to dating as a gay teen, you can always take matters into your own hands and let your friend know how you feel. However, coming out to your friend and revealing your crush may yield results that you're not looking for.

Be prepared by mapping out all the types of scenarios that could happen so that nothing takes you by surprise.

Dating Advice for GLBT Identifying Teens

Sometimes, it seems like no one will ever have a crush on you. However, the feeling of having no one who likes you usually has to do with the signals you send out and the messages you're giving. While coming on too strong can be a turn-off, so can being too shy. It's important to find a balance between being forward and remaining who you are. Plus, this will help you navigate gay teen dating a whole lot easier.

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There was a time when dating online was seen as a little weird, or even pathetic. Thankfully, the stigma of online dating is pretty much a thing of the past, and now plenty of people do much of their dating over the Internet. In fact, people of all genders and sexual orientations use online dating apps and websites to meet new people.

Although dating online is more common these days, there are some safety issues to consider.

Real LGBT Students Reveal What It's Like to Date and Hook Up in College

However, you do want to be real when it comes to your personality and what you're looking for. Getting a boyfriend can seem like a daunting task as a gay teen, but it is possible. Some steps you can take involving coming out, going for guys who are also out, or approaching someone who might like you back.


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By putting yourself out there, you'll have more opportunities to meet someone that you can establish a relationship with. Simply understand that this is a part of dating, and most guys won't be your boyfriend overnight. Allow a real relationship to form over time by learning more about each other through messaging and shared experiences. Feeling like you're the only gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender teen can feel awful. Most teens like to have a community that we can feel a part of, and gay teens are no different.

Dating Tips for Gay Teens

Like for all students, being seen as popular is still widely associated with being part of a party scene, and a lot of the young people we spoke to felt alienated by this sentiment. Here's what our interviewees had to say:. Some highlights: Everyone I dated — excuse me, hooked up with — wanted one thing: No sit-down-and-split-the-bill dates, no cuddling in a twin-sized bed, no wearing each other's sweatshirts.

Just brainless and simple fun, always fueled by one-too-many stiff drinks and a casual message on Tinder. Needless to say I cannot wait until I graduate and move into a closet-sized apartment in a big city — a real city, sorry Iowa — where the number of gay men rivals the number of Starbucks.

I like going to bars and clubs with friends, but the majority of the people you meet in a bar want something more casual.

In terms of sexuality, the generation younger than me is way more open, and the older generation is still more closeted. These younger guys were the ones they liked in college, so now they pursue people who they have sentimental feelings for. Most of my hooking up experiences have been with male-identifying people, so I often find myself trying to hype up my [limited] experiences with women or with other queer people.


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Even within the queer community, biphobia is a thing. I definitely will only date people who are female or non-binary, like me. A lot of people go to events like Pub Night every Thursday, which tends to be a really queer event. We also have to deal with social things, too.

What It's Like to Date When You Have a Chronic Illness

Because both of us look not like girls: That actually happened with my last girlfriend, before I was identifying as trans. We both looked like girls and we still got harassed. There was this one time, we were out on Halloween, and we were a few towns over at a haunted house.

It was cold, so of course we were holding hands. We sped up, and I had mace in my hand — but then we heard breaking glass. The group was crossing the street, and one of the guys had a broken beer bottle in his hand. My girlfriend and I sprinted to the train station in heels, and they were chasing us the whole way.


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Wellesley is completely different from non-Wellesley, though. I like going on dates — I like meeting people like that. But I go on a lot of dates from Tinder.

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