How to have the best gay sex

This is it.

A Word of Warning From Writer Alexander Cheves

In my humble opinion, I think this is a rite of passage for every gay man. I also remember being in a lot of pain.

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He knows how to move. Who needs Ambien when you have Grindr, am I right? Sleeping like a baby. In order to have sex with a man the first few times, many of us had to get to a point of severe inebriation.

He smacks your butt hard, or he rests his hands on your throat, applying a little pressure. Your heart speeds up. You feel the rush of exploring something a little kinkier, a little more intense. We all need to learn what the fuss is about, and why two heads pun intended are better than one. Summer camp is literally the most homoerotic space to have ever existed.

11 Crazy Hot Gay Sex Positions Everyone Will Love (Really!)

Everything feels so good. Most gay men will consider bottoming at some time. However, the thought of doing it for the first time can be scary. Use plain, clean water, preferably at body temperature. Avoid using shower attachments - the water pressure can be dangerous. You can get douche bulbs online or from any good sex shop. Try not to go overboard and irritate the lining of your arse, as this can make you more vulnerable to STIs.

17 Tips for Being a Better Top

Get yourself relaxed with lots of foreplay like rimming or fingering. Some men do use amyl nitrate poppers to relax the muscles around their arse but there are two major health warnings. Any position where your knees are bent and drawn into your chest, whether you are kneeling, lying on your back or on your side, will probably lead to more comfortable sex, or will be a good position to start from.

Use water- or silicone-based lubricants if you're using latex condoms. Avoid any lube with nonoxynol It irritates the lining of the arse, may make sex more painful and also increases your risk of HIV. Look after your arse. You can't get a new one. So know your limits. With time you may be able to take larger objects but there's always a maximum size: Take your time and listen to your partner.

This is as much about the emotional as the physical side. Find out what he likes. Ask him how he likes it.

Listen to his reactions too. The first time you top, you may be a little anxious.

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This may make your erection less hard than usual. Relax — you're both there to enjoy yourselves. If you have erection problems, concentrate on something else like kissing for a while. If getting or staying hard is a regular problem, see our section on ED on page 6. Our advice above on lubes and position apply as much to tops as to bottoms.

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Lube is essential when topping. Those who are sensitive regarding frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you are outraged by content that addresses sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality.

For all others, enjoy the slideshow. And feel free to leave your own suggestions for sex and dating topics in the comments. Hungry for more? All Rights Reserved. Search form Search. Sexy Beast. Here's sex advice for gay and bisexual men who want to be on top of their game. By Alexander Cheves.